Ever notice how much better life is with a partner?
A dear friend of mine mirrored my own experience recently. He’s just gone through a horrible break-up, & he wonders now why he is uninspired, groggy, unstimulated, & just damn sad. Granted, I *haven’t* just gone through a horrible breakup, but—my life has seemed underwhelming, because I get so fired(from my life?)from having the “muse”, the deep spirit, the sane madness of a lover & a proud fighter as a teammate. & I’ve actually not achieved having such a presence in my life.
This all seems obvious, but my question is…are we sabotaging finding the true one for us? Are we too obedient to the feeling we get from “The One”(or just a lover in general)? & it is this deep-seeded need/failure that causes us to eventually settle into a mediocre relationship, to just play out the “non-lonely” string?(or settle into a string of shallow sex…just to be touched, & not felt…& definitely not *understood*.)
I guess this dovetails into the “Future Generation” seed I was propagating earlier—if we truly meld with a more righteous partner…wouldn’t our kids turn out better? So how do we do this?
& I guess the key word is Selfish. Or more accurately, obeying your sense of life to improve yourself & consequently the world, to stand as a bit of a beacon to anyone else who looks to you.
I’ve recently spent some time on stage. One of the reasons why people look to movies/actors/performers/& pontificating politicians is because we want to believe a deeper, freer way of life is possible. After being beaten down by kindergarten playground rules, high school hall social moshpits, weeder classes in college, & then sometimes soul-crushing banal job prospects—this is of course if you’re “lucky” enough to even get a job—we wonder where that sense of wonder of our inner 7 year old went. We wonder why life seems so random & unfair(as if life needs to be fair to just you)…& we wonder why we allowed a nice slice of our deepest self to be handed over, carved up, homogenized, & sedated.
So eventually it seems we just get shell-shocked, & we craft a comfortable armor. My god, shut up, & just give me my beer, my fast food, my easy porn a click away, & an amusing sitcom. But just *please*, shut the 7 year old up who’s still looking for his superman.
One of the things I like about this generation coming up is—as much as they haven’t really had a major test, such as a war or a depression(though this economy is damn close)—they seem to understand how valuable life is. When one throws off the shackles of naivety(with all the information & technology nowadays), yet, doesn’t lose the sense that most things are possible…the road ahead seems a superhighway(*&* with fuel-efficient jetpacks!). A sense of optimism pervades even the darkest soul, if you don’t allow yourself to die while still walking(why the dual fascination with vampires & zombies?). True, a man thinks he is smart & mature when he can see all the pitfalls of existence, & all the potential “schemes” out to get him. But I wonder is this really wisdom? Can protecting ourselves lead us to being weaker than ever? & if you’re constantly looking out for losses at your expense…are you just ultimately a smart, lonely loser?
Which leads me back to my cynical, burned, lonely friend. Life seems bleak, because he tasted the nectar of shared love, of seeming understanding, of then endless possibilities. But it seems the only true Relationship is one where the parties share their deepest-seeded revelations…& not just have their insecurities propped up & salved.
& one can only have revelations when one sees life can end any minute…& you only get one trip, but many shots…& the only person who knows for certain what you’re doing—not your god, not your president, not your Oprah, not your doctor—is you. The wisdom of creation is intricate & infinite, & it’s a fact that it’s in everyone.
& who knows…maybe just by being your true self, you’ll inspire somebody to do the same. & then maybe this person will just love you for who you are…
“there’s no such thing as rejection…just the wrong path closed…”