Putting All Theories to Bed

Our prophets in science have been trying to find a “Theory of Everything” for a while now. Something to help explain God, Time, Space, & why I never seem to have to clip my fingernails. A theory that marries why & how without a prenup, yet calms the lawyers of existence & causality.

Do I have such a theory? Probably not. But I’m not going to take that lying down…

I have The Blanket Theory. Or, if you disagree, The Sheet Theory.

& it’s really simple, & yet speaks to cause & effect, action/reaction, & whether nature improves on its “flaws” or not. & we are, as we often forget, simply(the biggest)part of nature…

When you move on a bed, the creases in the sheet get moved according to your action. It fundamentally changes the shape of the fabric, yet, the fabric remains the same.

Getting to the point, everything we do is reacted upon. Everyone is simply a nuclear reactor of energy, & the energy we do, think, put out, or save traipses across this blanket of existence.

Now this does come down to morality, but like usual, our religious credos always overdo it. It would seem we can distill morality to 2 simple tenants of the “golden rule” credo—death & sex—meaning, if you don’t want to live in a world where you’re constantly looking over your shoulder—to prevent being killed, or to prevent being “cheated on”—then you, in the interests of self-interest, obey these two simple rules. Because death & sex is¬†obviously death & birth…the two simple & immovable points of life.

Want to have an open marriage? Good luck with that. Want to get your nut off with a hot bimbo? Well, how exactly are you a man when you haven’t earned true sex? Since intercourse is the doorway to new life, in my opinion you’re not a real man or a true woman if you’re simply fornicating like an animal.

But what if a child comes from this “Stupid Sex”, or if a death comes from murder? Where does this fit on the blanket? If nature is always looking to improve itself(“evolve”), then Stupid Sex & Murder are ok, yes?

Well, again, all we have to survive is reason. & reasonably, we see that life(& finances, which are always a microcosm of biology)simply cannot sustain too much life—& reasonably, we don’t know if there is life after death. So, YES, life(& society)respond accordingly, preventing too much life, & mourning death—but we understand that every child that made it on the planet is a precious gift & a beacon of potential…just like we hope that our personal nuclear reactor of energy lives on in another dimension.

But we reasonably don’t know. I guess I believe in logical faith. We believe in that every day, when we go on a job interview, or a date, or we move somewhere…we gather all the evidence, listen to our guttiest instinct, & just do the best we can that very minute.

& if it “doesn’t work out”, or is a “failure”, or a “waste of time”…I’m just saying that Nature will improve accordingly. WE will react accordingly. We simply cannot see what our gears really do in the grand machinery, what our little paintbrushes create in the mosaic…what our moves truly do to the blanket. But we rest, & we dream, & we make love, & we leave our creases.

& if the blanket rips? We remember the memories born on it, & we buy a new one. & I’ll bet you the new one is made of stronger fabric & more comfortable threads.

Because Nature only cares if you respect two things…sex & death. But then nature will simply try to improve on whatever is created & killed. You can’t lose. But you also don’t win…

We’re all in bed together. So stretch out a little, resting easier knowing you’re covered. Eventually you’ll wake up…& see that all your moves added new wrinkles.

& wrinkles can become waves…when you dream deep enough…


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