Music To End the Apocalypse To

Is there such thing as tragedy? & do you have to worry about death?

I sometimes wonder if this whole damn thing is a test. I heard some intelligent souls bandying about yesterday about different dimensions, & if this dimension is simply “middle school” in the grand class of existence (thank you Mr. Sparks & Mr. Rogan). This thought dovetailed nicely into something I’ve noticed for a few years now—some truly special souls sometimes seem to leave us awfully early.

In my mind, there’s always been a certain purity of existence worth tapping into. My biggest problem to date has been allowing myself to be frustrated with all the “imperfections” in god & in man, & allowing myself to either get caught up in railing against such “injustices”…or simply shutting down, & refusing to participate in such a dirty & ugly world.

2 years ago, I was right in the middle of working manual labour in oppressive summer heat—a job I only took because my “brain” would be saved for less earthly, more arty pleasures & pursuits—when it occurred to me…”Everything is God”. If Creation DNA is literally in every single thing in existence, well then…there can never be true evil, nor waste, nor sin, nor strife. & this is nicely buffered with the fact that nature—the “god DNA”—is always looking to improve itself. So YES when we see something we perceive as evil, we can act as the agents of nature & try to direct it towards its more correctly productive path. But in the end, we do have a limit to our control, & the ultimate wisdom seems to me trusting & knowing that Nature (god, if you like) will absorb & absolve everything in the end.

So while early death seems the most senseless & tragic of all human experience, I sometimes wonder if that soul got a reward—they exhibited a certain purity of spirit, & the *gods that be* determined that their energy & experience were wasted on such “middle school” pursuits. If anything, this thought salves a certain apprehension of death, as if you’re still plugging away for your own reward, & that’s the only reason you’re alive.

Of course, since we’re not allowed to know if any of the above is true, we also have to obey the seeming finiteness of it All. More & more, I see the two main American political parties almost have it right—liberals see the finiteness, & want to bend & shape existence into something according to their brain power (playing God, as it were)…while conservatives want to let markets & free will shape our experience (while trusting the Fairytale God of their ancient books). Both philosophies have a fatal flaw…not trusting in the wisdom of the universe (i.e., you can’t overplay God, & you can’t just obey the old plays of “God”). “Coincidence” & “chance” might just be broad paint strokes in the grand mosaic, just like “tragic death” & “bad luck”.

More & more, the most obvious thought seems to be to create & exhibit positive energy (energy, the very currency of existence)…& then rest peacefully, knowing you haven’t earned your reward yet. This is why suicide bombers who take innocent lives probably don’t get their reward, because they betray two of the main pillars—reason (believing in a faith that doesn’t make much sense), & good will.

Failure, memory, regret, moods, & hate don’t actually exist. Our nerves, our firing synapses, & death are the only things with any sort of reality. So control what is in your grasp…& then bear witness to the logic unfolding in front of you. There’s an order to the chaos…even in what order we seem to leave here…


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